Addicted

I never thought I would open the pages of that novel. It was so stupid, so rediculous and childish. I must have been extremely bored; sitting there and noticing it standing on the shelf along with its sequels. I opened it, casually reading the preface. It was amazing, it sucked me in within seconds. The way the words were so intriquetly thought out, but yet so simple. I didn't dare put it down, almost worried about what I would miss if I did. I went into the only private, quiet place in my home: my bathroom. I sat and read each word and sentence so carefully. my head so overwhelmed by the way it was written, I had never read anything like it. It was descriptive, but not to the point of boredom. It was enpowering and suspenseful. Everything a great novel required, but it was unlike any novel. Every word was stitched together flawlessly. It was the most difficult thing to put down. The only time I was willing to was when sleep was vital, when i knew i can dream about that one beautiful character. I understood now the reason why millions, probably even billions, of people were so drawn in. I was now a part of the mass of overly obsessed fans. I was one of them. Every time I read even just a little bit, especially when he spoke, my heart pounded so hard, my lungs seemed to not work. It felt like what she must feel like when he looked deep into her eyes with his. My lips were always curled up into a smile. I had the urge to cry, just by the words typed on the pages. Yes, i was in love. maybe just with him. I couldn't get it out of my head. At school, at dance, at dinner, church, nowhere. I put myself in her position, I read it as if it were me. I wished it was. Everything was so perfect, but at the same time, the farthest away from perfect. I was so engulffed with this fascinationg book [it was just a book, I had to remind myself] and it was only the second day, i was only half way through. But i didn't ever want it to be over. I longed for it to just come to life.

YAYYY

There's no school tomorrow because of Veteran's Day, and FINALLY Lesley comes back to school on Wednesday!! After a whole week and two days texting constantly, 24/7, she is finallyyy coming back!! I don't think anybody understands how happy and excited i am! Ahhh, Wednesday will be a glorious day. =]

LESLEY

**embarrassing picture, but the only one i have


i just met her this year in spanish class. she's my spanish partner. we became really close really fast. i already know basically all there is to know about her!
i love her, she's an amazing person.
today she is having surgery on her foot/ankle or something.
she isn't going to be at school for a week and a half which means i have no one in spanish with me =[ no one to talk to about basically anything and everything. i already miss her and it's just the first day.
i hope her surgery goes amazing and her recovery goes aven more amzing so that she can come back to me!!!

17 Again

just had to put this up

i can't wait for this movie
ahh he is gorgeousss
=]
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2523529241/

new purchases!

i had to spend my 100 bucks from saturday on something!
i could have put it to better use, but i was in dyer need of some new clothes!
here's a feww things that i got:

youth conference

was last thursday to saturday.
i was extremely not wanting to go. and i almost didnt until the very last minute. and i'm actually happy i did go. i knew everyone in my family, but they are all best friends, and i'm not. so i was kind of left out. but they were still cool and fun. they were alex vance, scott hendrickson, jaime cotto, bethany cusworth, hanna lassen, and makenna mcombs. oh and this michael kid that i dont know.
thursday we didnt really do anything other than dinner and a speaker and then a pool party...which was nott a party. but yeah, that night we stayed at the shui's house. then friday was the hottest day of my life. and of coarse it was the day that we do all of the activities. the them this year was treasure seekers, so we had to drive around town looking for clues. it got to like 107 degrees! it was insanely brutal. one activity that we did was an iron rod thing and it was a really cool, fun experience. then after we went swimming at papa tank's house. his pool is sooo tiny! its like a little miniature pool. but it was still fun and refreshing. but his house is sooo nice! after that, we went to the price's house, which is where we were going to stay for the rest of the time, and we got ready for dinner and the dance. the dinner was good, we had mentally disbled people come that night and it was sooo fun! they sat at our table for dinner, then after, we had an american idol kareoke thing, and they all sang a song, and it was the cutest thing ever! i loved it! even though it was wayyyy long, and i wanted the dance to start. but it was fun to see everyone getting really into it. the dance was funnn but seemed really short. but for the lady's choice dance, i asked sam taylor!!! awww i love that kid! too bad he's like 3 years younger than me! but yeah it was fun, nothing too exciting. and of coarse my family didnt want to go to any parties, so we stayed home and watched a stupid movie, and made candy leis for our boys. so lame.
in the morning

i have a new

baby cousin!!
yayy!! her name is Makenna Ansley Denyer. she was born on saturday and is 20 in and 8 lbs. dangg she's a big baby!! but i'm soo excited! i'm major jealous that my sister Kayla is in maryland with them and she gets to be with the baby!! i dont know when i'll ever get to see her in person...hopefully soon!
but yeah, just needed to share that =]

BIG NEWS

some big things have happened since the last time ive been on! welll one really big thing actually.
welll i tried out for dance team, and felt really confident that i might make it. then i found out i didn't! i was extremely mad and bummed and what not. the next day during dance, my friend said that there was someone they forgot to put on the list. i was prayinggg that it was me. then mrs dyer told me murphy wanted to talk to me! i went into her office and she basically told me that i'm on team, but not on team. yeah, i dont really understand the situation very much but i'm kinda just looking at it like i made it =]
sooo.... I MADE TEAM!!!!! i was sooo happy! at break, the first person i called was my sister kayla. well, i texted her first and she was like what the freak?! thats awesome! yeah then i called her and explained the situation to the best of my ability. basically i'm going to train with team over the summer and if murphy sees that i should be on team then i will be. but she said that i might just be a rally and football game dancer, and not compete. thats ok with me, although i of course want to compete, but thats better than nothing!
so yeah i'm going to work sooo hard so i can go to camp with them over the summer, then hopefully compete!
we've had our first practice and it was so much fun! everyone is so nice. i didnt do amazing that night, but not as bad as i have been doing. seriously, lately, i really think i somehow lost all of my talent. it's rediculous. i hate it. doubles are kinda hard for me now and i can't really do alasecondes anymore =[ SOOO GAY! they used to be so EASY!! but im getting my skills back and hopefully they'll get even betterrrr!!
but i'm kinda going to miss track! and all of my friends i made at track! =[ but i'm going to make even more on team hopefully! i'm just scared of the drama and cattyness that comes with team. haha. oh joy

newsnewsnews

oh my gosh it's been forever since i've been on here!
so much has been going on!!
main thing: dance concert- the highlight of my whole year!
it was soooo much fun, and i wish it would never end.
this year i was in FOUR dances ANDD all of the shows!
how amazing is that?!!
for my class dances, we did diamonds are a girl's best friend for our class dance.
for our group dance, i was in the lyrical dance to Paperweight by joshua radin. mrs. dyer coreographed both dances and they were actually pretty good.
then for Illusions i had two dances-hip hop and jazz
hiphop-MIB! was horrible!!!
jazz-HANNAH MONTANA!! friggin amazing!!
and yeahhh i had so much fun!!

track season's over, so now we don't do anything at practice. its really amazing actually. we just hang out and listen to music!

My Best Friends

we do homework together. we dance around in the street. we climb into sewers to save baby ducks. we go on sdventures and have photo shoots. we watch the star wars saga together. we have sleepovers on school nights. we immediately come over when we need something. we use video chat in the morning to help choose eachother's outfits. we make fun of eachother. we go to the beach with our parents' disapproval. we sneak out of our bedroom windows late at night. we have glowstick parties. we plant trees in our backyards. we are obsessed with gossip girl. we are even more obsessed with narnia. we tell eachother alll of our secrets. we cry together, sometimes without even knowing why we're crying. we are always there for eachother. forever.

thoughts turned to poems

written a little while back



ME
i believe in neverland.
i am afraid of the end of the world.
i want to go to narnia.
i don't waste food.
i wish everyone would do something about global warming.
i dance to get things off my mind.
i take too many pictures.
i look at things differently.
i have many goals and dreams in life.
i don't take things for grantide.
i always write poetry in my mind; then scramble to write it all down before i forget it.
i question life.
i sometimes wonder if it's all worth it.




this world is so materialistic.
then when reality kicks in,
we don't realize it.
we don't recognize it.
we don't know it.
we don't believe it.

more BIG news

soooo yesterday when we were vaulting at practice, i was doing pretty bad. then i finally did a jump that was semi-good i think.
BUT my feet grabbed down on the bungee and pulled down the thing that holds it up.
and it fell ON MY HEAD.
yeah, it fell from like5-7 feet up, down onto my head.
when it happened, i was like OWW!
i wanted to start crying, but i held it in.
but my eyes still watered a little bit.
as i stood up, coach was like are you ok?! are you bleeding??
and i was like yeah i'm fine, no i'm not bleeding.
but then he walked over to me and was like uhh yeah, you're bleeding.
and i'm like whaaaat??!
shizzzzzz!!!
then i reached up and there was blood on my hand =/
ahhhh
so coach was like okay sit downnn
and they like got a shirt to stop the bleeding.
and everyone ran over and was like omggg are you ok?!?
and im like yeahhh im fine
then carly ran to get kloch (the head coach)
he brought an ice pack and gauze
then i called my mom and carly's mom, since she's a nurse
people kept coming to seee if i was ok
ugh that was annoying
and corey was like yeah, you might need stitches
i'm like carly's bro say whaaaaat?
and i'm like no no no! i can NOT do that!!! PLUS I HAVE DANCE TONIGHT!!!!!!
hahaha thats all i kept thinking ^^^
then freaking adam came up and he's like yeah, you might have to shave a little spot off.
but i know he was joking i was like uhhhh NOT FUNNY!!!
hahaha
but my mom came and car's mom came
she said i probably dont need stitches
thankkkkk goodnessss!!!
so i went home (and the bleeding basically stopped)
i took a shower.
and the nastayyyy smell of blood ewww yeah, i remember that
grossss
and my mom almost didnt let me go to dance! but i begged and she let me =]
then today everyoneeee was asking me if i was ok and im like yessss
hahaha annoyingg!!
but thats aightt
but i was in a weird mood today!
i was tired and felt sick and weird, and not hyper, not up to anythinggg
it sucked.
even car was like why are you so sad today??
i was like ugh sorry!!! im in a way weird mood!
but yeahh thats my story =]
i wonderrr whats going to happen next!!

wanna hear a story?!?

ok soo yesterday me and carly had a carazyyy day


first we had to wake up super early to go do community service for track.
me car and chrystal were like away from the whole group, and when we thought they were all looking at us, we started running, and i stopped in front of a tree so they couldnt see us, but instead, i accidently slipped and like slidd 3 ft on my butt. it hurt soo bad and i had a huge grass stain on my butt.
we were waiting for carly's mom to pick us up when we discovered this spiky thing that hurts really bad. we wondered if it was edible, but we weren't about to risk anything.
then i forgot my key to my house so i had to go to carly's house ; ]
so after a while we decided to go on a bike ride down spook canyon. actually it was more like UP spook canyon. we almost died like 3 times.
and we saw a billion animals.
oh and the bike i was on was wayy too tall for me so i kinda ate it a few times.
k so first we saw a few horses =]
then we were going down this hill that at the end went in 2 directions and it was all rocky. i was ahead so i asked carly which way to go when i saw this huge ass snake like 6 inches in front of me.
luckily i slowed down or else i would have ran over it and it would have bit me!
we stood there for a little bit and we noticed a billion bees were buzzing around us and there was a beehive right above us. so we decided to just go past the snake...risking our lives!!
then we heard something in the bushes and then a huge hawk or something flew out and landed above where the snake and beehive was. we thought it was probably going to attack the snake, but it wasnt doing anything so we left.
then there was a huge hill we had to climb up..WITH BIKES.
i almost died there.
then we finally got to the street and when we turned the corner...there was a guy and a duck that was going crazy.
he thought someone lost their pet duck but we're like uhh no, we can hear chirping down in that sewer thing.
we looked down and there were like10 little baby ducks!!
so we tried to call animal control but they didn't do anythingg, so we're like uhh what are we supposed to do?!!
so we called carly's mom and she came.
me and carly lifted the really heavy cage thingy that went over the sewer drain thing. we counted that there were 13 chicks.
then her mom went back home and got us a ladder.
carly climbed down there and one by one, got the chicks to go into a box and we put them into another box.
people kept driving by thinking we were crazy.
and the mom duck was staying close by.
then some people wanted to know if we were ok, and carly's mom explained, so they wanted to see if they could help.
when we thought we got them all, there was a big crowd, and carly's mom said there were 12 in the box.
so i was like carly! theres only 12!!
but we didnt see the last one anywhere!! and we were postitive there were 13.
so someone got us a flashlight and carly looked down into the drain hole things and she saw it. like 6 ft into it.
she was like theres no way im going to be able to get it. plus it wasnt moving..it was too scared.
so she's like i'm going to just crawl in there and get it. so i climbed down to help her.
she was about to go in but she noticed a billion spiders on the top of the tunnel. so she's like no wayyy.
someone got us a pool net thing and we were able to get it out!!!!
everyone started clapping as me and carly climbed out of it.
it was so coooool!
then we turned the box over and the little babys all walked out, following the mom.
it was the cutest thing everr!!!
we closed up the sewer thing and stuff and this lady said she wanted to try to get it in the newspaper! hahaaa
then after, me and carly picked up our bikes and rode away.
it was so awesome, you dont understand what it feels like. even though it sounds lame.
we got back to carlys house and disenfected ourselves.
then we celebrated by making cookies and 2 cakes in like half an hour.


it was amazing =]]]]

He Sits With Me

He sits with me in the grass on the fields.
He sits with me in the sand, watching the sunset.
He sits with me on the bench in the park.
He sits with me on the roof, watching cars speed by.
He sits with me in the boat on the lake.
He sits with me on the couch, watching my favorite show.
He sits with me...



not done
this justt popped into my head

APRIL FOOL'S!!

Today is my sister, Brianna's 19th birthday!! no joke. and also my friend jessica!

Solvang

is not what i remember.
but it was still fun!!

i took a bunch of pictures
i'll have them up later when my computer isnt being GAYY

but yeah me my mom and brother went.
we searched all day for fudge and didnt find some until accidentally right before we were going to leave
and we had these aebleskiversfhsjn things that were SOOO AMAZING
seriously you have no idea!!
i can live off those if i wanted to.
vvv


the drive to solvang is soo pretty!!
it was all fields and fields of grass, flowers, and trees. with cows and horses roaming. there was also a lake that we passed.
this id what i've decided:
once i have a clothing line, i'm going to get really pretty, tall models, dress them all up and stuff, take them there, and stop every two seconds, get out of the car and take high fashion photographyyyy
yesss i am so excited =]

ok i'm going to try to get pics up!

something amazing

okay so yesterday was monday, st. patrick's day!!
but it could have been THE worst day ever.
at track, i was getting really close to landing on my back for pole vaulting. by the endish of the day,coach yudovin told me if i dont do it that day, i would be gone. his exact words: youre pole vaulting career will be cut short. so im like shhiznit!! i haveee to do this or else im screwed! so i was like freaking out and i wanted to cry so bad. especially when lauren and carly were like NOO!!! you have to do it!! and whatever. so carly took me to the side and helped me. she was all like ok girl you HAVE to do this!! just do it, land on your butt!!! i am not letting you be kicked off!! i love you too much!
so that made me want to cry too, and my eyes kept like watering up, about to cry. ugh it sucked.
and then what carly was helping me with worked!!!
it was such a good feeling!! so she's like omg yesss! now just do that on the actual thing!
so i went when it was my turn and i DID IT!!!!!
omggg what a relief!!!!
when i sat up i saw everyone clapping and carly running towards me. i felt soo stupid but i was just happy that i finally did it! it was stupid and lame that i couldnt just do that before, all along.
and i wanted to cry again because i did it becasue of carly. i was so thankful for her! omg i would be gone without her! and she just kept saying i'm so proud of you! omg im so happy!
so im happy i made her proud =] and that i did it!!!
even though coach was being a jerk all day and it was obvious he was done with me, i was still stoaked. whatever, screw him.



wooo yeah, so thats my big news.


LOTS of exclamation points!! =]

In Your Arms

your baby blues
so full of wonder
your curley cues
your contageous smile
and as i watch
you start to grow up
all I can do is hold you tight

knowing clouds will raise up

storms will race in
but you will be safe in my arms
rains will pour down
waves will crash all around
but you will be safe in my arms

story books full of fairy tales
kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
you'll someday see the truth from lies

knowing clouds will raise up
storms will race in
but you will be safe in my arms
rains will pour down
waves will crash all around
but you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble
dreams may not come true
but you are never all alone
because I will always
always love you

clouds will raise up
storms will race in
but you will be safe in my arms
rains will pour down
waves will crash all around
but you will be safe in my arms

another amazing song

Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

Look, all i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish we could see if we could be something.




my favorite song right now

JUST ME

i'm going to be completely honest on these. and try to make the lists short. just know that there are tons more for basically all categories.

my favorites:

passions:
1)fashion
2)photography
3)interior design
4)cooking & baking

movies:
1)pirates of the carribean
2)juno
3)i am legend
4)narnia
5)the notebook

tv shows: (i literally watch basically every show on tv)
1)all time fave = the O.C.
2)second all time fave = gossip girl
3)hannah montana

books:
1)gossip girl
2)the chronicles of narnia
3)a series of unfortunate events

sports:
1)dance
2)soccer
3)surfing
4)football

shops:
1)H&M
2)Old Navy
3)Urban Outfitters

hobbies:
1)photography
2)scrapbooking
3)cooking & baking
4)doodling & sketching =]

numbers:
1)12
2)6
3)22
4)37


no time to finish. this is an ongoing thing

track star

its been about a month since ive been on here. and a lot has happened. but nothing too exciting. but i decided to do track!!! and im loving it!
85% of the time.
it's a lot of hard work and devotion. and its hard to find time for homework and dance. my legs stopped hurting. buttt recently my quad started hurting again and my shin splints are gradually getting worse again. ughhh. hopefully theyll go away again though.
i've met soo many new people in track. and thats the best part!!
likee michael, chris, phillip, erik, melissa, chrystal, hannah
and other people i knew but never was really friends with...carly, niko, diana..
carly and i were best friends in soccer, then lost touch. and now we're best friends again!!! she's so amazing and pretty and funnyyyyy and a really good vaulter.
our track meet on saturday was a ton of fun. just hanging out. i didnt compete, i'd rather just go and hang out the whole time. and me and emily and jamie became better friends. everyone justs bonds. ahh i can't wait till the rest of the season!!
but i am sooo not good at vaulting yet. like whatsoever. hopefuly i wont completely embarrass myself on saturday =/
thats the biggest news i think.
i dont have time for a lot more.
but im going to write all the facts about me. i just like telling people about myself, but dont call me conceited or anything. because i'm not.

valentine's busttt

ok soo i've been sick since tuesday, and have been home since then. no school, no friends...i'm miserableee.
and on valentine's day??? yeah really sucks!!!

so right now i feel like i'm going to throw up. i thought i was almost better, but i guess not. :[

and i really wanted to hang out with my friends today and the rest of the weekend!
now i have a ton of work to do...PLUS we have a FIVE DAY WEEKEND!!!
i betterrr be better by tomorrow MORNING!!

i am not wasting these good five days of no school!!

lost

ok. i don't exactly know what to do.
i'm not sure if i should do track or not =/
it's a lot of fun and stuff, but hard of course.
the problem is that my left leg has decided to be completely helpless. i'm actually i really good and fast sprinter. but with this gay ass quad, i can't even lift my leg up...so i can't run fast. i know i'm really good, but i havent been able to show it b/c of this. idk why its doing this, its never done it before. its a pain like none other. the trainer said i damaged my muscle. which probably isnt too good. idk how long its going to take it to heal. hopefully not long.
but my other problem is that i dont know if i should even do track or not. and this thought goes through my head a billion times a day. and i dont know the answer.
if i do track...i never really have time for hw b/c i have to wait till 4:15 for mi madre to pick me up. then i procrastinate like none other (like i am now)and i kinda have deciding just not to do some of my hw. which is really stupid. and i'm always going to be hurt. which will really effect my dancing. and the days i have dance after school, i basically have like 1 or 2 hours to do my hw. not good.
those are basically all of the cons.
the pros are mostly just like always being in shape...hanging out with my friends...and track meets are way fun. oh and missing school some days. which can also be a con b/c i fall back in school work pretty easily.
the reason why i was going to do track in the first place was b/c my best friends were in it and wanted me to do it. and plus when they left at lunch for meets, i had to go hangout w/ my dance friends, which werent all that great. but nowww me and my best friends...arent my best friends anymore. so i really dont know why i still wanted to go out for track. but i want them back more than anything. so i'm kinda hoping that track will bring us together again.
that is my hugest want right now i think.
they were the best friends i've ever had. and our friendship was ruined b/c of a stupid guy.
but thats a story i dont have time telling right now.
maybe some other time.
i have to focus on whether im going to do track or not.
huge decision.
really is.

new dance. new friend!

ok, so i have to talk about my day today...
well one big highlight i think was in dance. second period. we were learning more to our class dance that we started learning yesterday. it turns out that it's actually a really gay dance. in my opinion at least. it's to "diamonds are a girls' best friend". but fifth period did a dance to this song last year at concert. ya i know, EMBARRASSING!! well anyways...in our formation, i stand at the end of the second row, next to this girl amy. i've always thought she's really pretty, and a really good dancer. and she seemed way nice and friendly and stuff. i havent ever really talked to her that much. but now that we stand next to each in the dance, we talk a lottt. we go over parts together...which leads to laughing and messing up together. haha today was so funny. because we both see how gay the dance is, and at this one part at the end, we start cracking up!! then we just end up standing there, laughing, instead of dancing. but yeah, i was really excited that i basically met a new person in that class, and we're probably going to become more than just two people that stand next to eachother in a dance. i hope. she seems way chill. so i can't wait to see what happens. by the end of the year, maybe we'll be like best friends! i guess we'll see!

k, so later, after school, the guy i have been IN LOVE with since this summer (we're like really good friends, but i still am in love with him.) saw me walking with a few of my friends...not best friends, but really good friends...and he like stopped where he was headed to, and started walking with me!! eee BIG SMILE!! he walked with me all the way to get my track bag, and every time we talk, we have so much to talk about, and we laugh and stuff. ahh i love him so much! i wish he like always walked with me. we have a few classes together, and we eat lunch at the same place, but it's just better when its just us, without both of our friends around. i dont know why though. but it works! every time i see him i just want to jump on him and hug him. he gives the best hugs in the world by the way. like seriously. and i probably can hug him everytime i see him, but i kinda am self concious around him, b/c i dont want him to think im super weird or anything. but yeah, that was a pretty big highlight. =]

PEACEEEE

pointless, but what ev

ok, so i found out about blogger from my sister. it's pretty cool. i write blogs on my myspace, but i dont like it so much. i write a lot in my journal, but then i get writer's cramp...blah blah blah. and i'm on the computer way more often than just lounging around. so i figured i'll just have my journal on here. people probably won't read this, and that's totally fine by me. i actually would prefer it. most things i put on here will be really embarrassing and such. mostly me gushing, complaing, yuh knoww. oh and i say weird words that i dont really know how to spell sometimes, so probably only i will understand them. basically...i talk in major slanggg...oh and i put a lot of extra letters on my words. haha.
alright sooo yeah. thats basically it.
i'm going to try to post a blog or a few a day, just talkin about my day and what evs. boring stuff. but i would like to remember these things, and that's why i'm doing this.
okkk i really need to be doing my homework right now...so till next time =]
PEACE

this is me.

i'm outgoing.

but i can be extremely shy and nervous.

i am creative and original.

i love meeting new people.

but i can usually tell if i'll like you or not right off the bat.

i have so many dreams and goals in life; it's kinda overwhelming.

i can be pretty funny at times, and i'm fun to be around.

i am most usually in a good mood.

i hate losing friends for stupid reasons.

i have so many thoughts that it's annoying and it feels like my head is going to explode.

i take pictures nonstop.

it frustrates me.

i've done a lot of stupid things.

i regret them, but i know things happen for a reason.

i have to believe that.