TWENTY FIVE

ughh this is stupid but everyone's doing it on facebook. i don't really want to do it on there because i don't want people reading it haha. so I'll do it on here.

1. when i love something, i really truly love it with all my heart. it's painful how much i love things.

2. i love college football. preferably USC. me and my sisters are the biggesttt football fans. Brianna is definitely the biggest though.

3. I'm not very smart. I've never gotten straight A's like my siblings. i always struggle and get C's on my report cards every time. my parents might think it's because I'm not trying but i really am trying as hard as i possible can. i don't know what's wrong with me.

4. I'm depressed a lot, but i don't show it. i don't really want people to know. but sometimes i do want someone to know; so they can help me and comfort me, but i don't have anyone to do that. I cry probably almost everyday. I cry myself to sleep a lot.

5. i love the Twilight series. whenever i want to be put in a good mood and feel happy, i go and read it. and even if i just want to cry, i go and read it.

6. i don't have any real friends. i don't think i ever have. except for one person that's come pretty close...Brenna Lutz. we've been best friends since 6th grade.

7. I'm really artistic and creative. i think that's my gift, not being smart, but having an artistic side.

8. i dream about being a famous fashion designer and living either in New York on the Upper East Side, LA in Beverly Hills, or in Newport Beach, right on the water.

9. If fashion doesn't work out, i want to be a photographer.

10. I love my sisters. They are amazing examples to me, and i wish i can be living in Utah with them.

11. Even though my brother annoys me beyond belief, i tell him almost everything. He always knows who i like and everything. He's the one i vent to. and i can almost fully trust him not to spill all of my secrets.

12. i really want a boy. haha. somebody i can just hold and hug and kiss. someone to keep me warm and that i can tell everything to. someone who won't judge me, and will always be there for me.

13. i HATE dances. homecoming, prom, church dances, whatever. i hate them. I'll try everything to get out of them. they're stupid and awkward and immature.

14. but i love to dance. mostly lyrical and jazz. i wish i started dancing when i was 5 so i would be amazing right now, but whatever. i guess I'm pretty good. at least, that's what people tell me. and i love watching ballets. i wish i was a ballerina. it's the most beautiful thing. it's calming and peaceful and graceful. i love it.

15. i love to read. but I'm a horrible reader. i read super slow, and i get distracted easily. a lot of the time I'll read a sentence without really reading it, so i have to read it again and again until I'm really focused and i know what it's saying.

16. i love to cook and bake. i think it would be cool to have my own bakery or cafe someday. like in stranger than fiction or something.

17. I don't feel like i belong in my family. i never have. i always feel left out and not wanted. i don't know where i belong. also with friends- i have never felt really truly wanted.

18. i have asthma and 80% of the time, it's really hard for me to breathe. it sucks

19. i cannot wait for my future. i want so much to get married and have kids. i want 5. three girls and two boys. i don't usually tell people that because they'll think I'm weird. but i really love kids. the reason i want 5 is because of a family i used to babysit a lot- the Dalands. they have 5 kids, they're not the easiest to take care of, but they're amazing and they love each other. that's what i want.

20. i want to build my dream house. somewhere super close to the ocean, with a lot of land and a nice view.

21. i love going to concerts

22. I'm a really easy movie critic. i fall in love with basically every movie i see. but there are definitely some i don't like.

23. i have headaches every day, and i think i might be addicted to ibuprofen.

24. i really like learning, but I'm just not very good at it.

25. I love listening to classical music. it's the kinda nerdy side of me. but i love it. it makes me so calm and happy. and sometimes sad, if i want it to make me sad. haha